This past Sunday I started a sermon series called “How Big is Your God?” in which we started looking at how most people’s understanding of God doesn’t do the True God justice. The thoughts we think about Him are too small, and the way we picture Him is too small compared to His true glory, power, and awesomeness. One of the points I made is that Our view of God determines how we trust Him in the difficult times of our lives. Many of us say we trust God, but when it comes down to real-life application, do we trust Him to get us through difficulties like the worst drought in record for our state of California, marriage issues, problems at work, and in my case, uncertainty about our daughter’s health as she undergoes a series of tests and exams to determine what is going on with her health? The answer is easy when all is good, but it gets challenging when things are tough.
Through this ordeal (which is less than a week old, amazingly), we’ve been showered with words of encouragement, support and prayer by hundreds of people. Friends have “re-posted” our request for prayers on their own facebook walls and we know there are people literally accross the world praying for a little 9-year-old with fainting spells. God has shown us that our ordeal has not gone unnoticed by Him, and He has brought us great comfort and support through the friends and family He has given us.
At different times I have had a chance to think about friends and people we know who have undergone difficult times in their own lives, many much worse than our current uncertainty (they actually knew what they were up against, and it wasn’t an easy diagnosis). Part of me feels selfish and a little cowardly in asking God to spare me and my family from something of any great magnitude, but I really don’t want to go through that kind of test (that’s just me being honest). I would rather speak of the difficult times of trial God has brought me through in the past, without having to go through any new circumstances that show His faithfulness through trials.
God HAS brought us through difficult times in the past (a near death post-partum hemorrhage for Shannon, a close call with a severe allergic reaction for me, plus trials and times requiring trust in other areas of life not involving health matters), and I know from experience that He will be there with us no matter if the news is easy or hard. But like I said before, I’d rather not have to endure the hardships. I guess Jesus identified with that too when his sweat was drops of blood as he asked his Heavenly Father if there was any way he didn’t have to go through the crucifixion on the night he was arrested. He expressed his preference, but ultimately submitted to his Father’s will. “Not my will, but Yours be done,” were his final words of submission.
…I’m not sure how to end this. Do I submit myself to God’s will, hoping for the best? I guess that’s what I must do, even as I beg for His will to be a good report from my daughter’s doctors. After all, God is a BIG God, and is worthy of my trust.